As the fact that we are going to be spending the rest of our lives together registers more fully in my brain, I get more used to using a collective possessive pronoun. It is as simple, and indeed, as complicated as that. Most of the time, my brain has difficulty comprehending the scope of difference in my life in the past several years.
We think that the earliest years are the most formative because we need to work out and learn so much simultaneously. We need to manage walking, talking, recognizing and making sense of the world. We do massive growth inwardly and outwardly. However, I'm beginning to feel like these years are just as formative. When I think about the person that I was when I started college and the person that I have become by now... it staggers me. I am not trying to toot my own horn, but we change so much during these years.
We become less self-centered and look more to how we interrelate with others. We see people as systems and we see ourselves as part of something greater than the small sphere of our room or our friends or the people who congregate outside our locker. I don't know if the scope of this change will hit me until I have purchased some holiday towels and invite people to my home. Strange.
In less serious news, let me tell you how annoying/wonderful it is to go look for furniture. The scope of picking these things out... it's difficult to think about filing so much space! Anyone want to design and furnish my place for me? For free? Sigh...
Monday, September 29, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Picking Up Spotty Internet in My Apartment
So we/he have purchased a house. I'm incredibly excited about it, but it is also the most terrifying thing I have ever experienced, ever. From the realization that between the two of our student loans AND this house, we owe more money than I ever, ever thought I could comprehend. I am working on maintaining my excitement while being terrified. He is working on the same thing. Of course, it seems completely too fast--even though we've been looking for a good nine months.
I don't know how to write more right now. I'm alone in my studio right now, thinking about how little time I have left to be alone and how both simultaneously exciting and frightening it is to think about that.
I don't know how to write more right now. I'm alone in my studio right now, thinking about how little time I have left to be alone and how both simultaneously exciting and frightening it is to think about that.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Bad Horse!
As usual, I am the last one to know about anything, BUT, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog is available on iTunes for me to listen to now. Yes. This made the worst week ever slightly less worse.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Trying to get it together...
This has all been overwhelming. Perhaps I should just list in order to get it all out there.
1. August has been a rough month for CA. Because of that, in tern, it becomes a little bit of a rough month for me. He spent a week in South Dakota for work, which is not the most exciting state in the Union (I'm sure it's not the worst, it's got the Badlands and the Crazy Horse Memorial which looks like the most amazing thing in the world and Mt. Rushmore--so lots of carving) and worked very hard whilst there. He also spent two weekends away visiting sick (and in one case, now deceased) grandmas. And now, this past week, he's spent time at a wake and a funeral. I'm not always sure how to support him. And next weekend on Saturday, I am flying to Houston for a Bachelorette Party (in Galveston, which should be fun...including a margarita machine. Delicious.) And the FOLLOWING weekend, we're both going down to Houston for the wedding (which means that I have to book a hotel...we've got everything else done though. And I've got a HOTT [yes, with two Ts] dress for the reception [which is too scandalous for the church, so I have to find something to wear...] with amazing shoes to match).
I wanted to go down for the funeral with him, but there were fundamental problems with that. 1. I have not yet met his parents and I don't want his mother's first memory of me to be etched alongside her mother's funeral 2. It's the first week of school and it would have been incredibly disruptive for me to leave; I'm already protective of one of my classes (the one I designed). So, this entire time, I've felt incredibly guilty about not being there and not being able to support him.
I love him, simply. There is nothing simple about that, really, though because it means such a complexity of things. It means trust and responsibility (so much of adulthood, really). It means little things too, like a person to share all my books with and a place to hide my cold feet. It's a communal pronoun. I love the way that when we take pictures, he actually doesn't look like he wants to be anywhere else.
2. This first week of school was incredibly overwhelming. Last night, I had plans and literally went home and collapsed on my couch. I cannot understand why I'm so tired. It might be that performing the role of "Ms. R" is difficult. I constantly have to be on, I cannot show disinterest...they're sensitive, so much more sensitive than I had initially anticipated. It's strange to teach more than 1 section of the same class; I feel badly for the children I teach to first. I learn so much more about how to present information the more I do it. I do it differently a little bit each time too.
I don't know why it's been overwhelming. There was much to prepare and thinking about several different classes from scratch. I do love my new classes though, and I do love teaching history. There's much more art to it (art in the "fine art" sense, and also in the skill set sense). My new class is also incredibly exciting. They began their "big questions" unit. One student wrote on the board: what is the voice in our head? Another student responded what if the voice in our head is God? And the final student responded But if it's God, why does it tell us to not do the right thing? To which someone else asked and drew and arrow what is right? Is there an absolute right?
These are sixth graders. This is where their thinking is. It's incredibly exciting.
3. I haven't done laundry in eight weeks. It's going on right now. That's very good. In other "good" news, I'm realizing how easy it is to save money simply by not buying coffee every morning. I've already saved 50 bucks since the start of August. I love it.
4. Finally, other thing that I love, although I am not a supporter of "reality" shows, I watched the season premiere of "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader" and it's been on for 3 years. They've never had a million dollar winner. The did tonight. It was a Georgia School Superintendent. And she's giving the money to Georgia state schools. I love it. Bully for school. She won on who the longest reigning British Monarch was.
In case you were wondering, it's Victoria.
Anyway, I'm going to get it together. Soon.
1. August has been a rough month for CA. Because of that, in tern, it becomes a little bit of a rough month for me. He spent a week in South Dakota for work, which is not the most exciting state in the Union (I'm sure it's not the worst, it's got the Badlands and the Crazy Horse Memorial which looks like the most amazing thing in the world and Mt. Rushmore--so lots of carving) and worked very hard whilst there. He also spent two weekends away visiting sick (and in one case, now deceased) grandmas. And now, this past week, he's spent time at a wake and a funeral. I'm not always sure how to support him. And next weekend on Saturday, I am flying to Houston for a Bachelorette Party (in Galveston, which should be fun...including a margarita machine. Delicious.) And the FOLLOWING weekend, we're both going down to Houston for the wedding (which means that I have to book a hotel...we've got everything else done though. And I've got a HOTT [yes, with two Ts] dress for the reception [which is too scandalous for the church, so I have to find something to wear...] with amazing shoes to match).
I wanted to go down for the funeral with him, but there were fundamental problems with that. 1. I have not yet met his parents and I don't want his mother's first memory of me to be etched alongside her mother's funeral 2. It's the first week of school and it would have been incredibly disruptive for me to leave; I'm already protective of one of my classes (the one I designed). So, this entire time, I've felt incredibly guilty about not being there and not being able to support him.
I love him, simply. There is nothing simple about that, really, though because it means such a complexity of things. It means trust and responsibility (so much of adulthood, really). It means little things too, like a person to share all my books with and a place to hide my cold feet. It's a communal pronoun. I love the way that when we take pictures, he actually doesn't look like he wants to be anywhere else.
2. This first week of school was incredibly overwhelming. Last night, I had plans and literally went home and collapsed on my couch. I cannot understand why I'm so tired. It might be that performing the role of "Ms. R" is difficult. I constantly have to be on, I cannot show disinterest...they're sensitive, so much more sensitive than I had initially anticipated. It's strange to teach more than 1 section of the same class; I feel badly for the children I teach to first. I learn so much more about how to present information the more I do it. I do it differently a little bit each time too.
I don't know why it's been overwhelming. There was much to prepare and thinking about several different classes from scratch. I do love my new classes though, and I do love teaching history. There's much more art to it (art in the "fine art" sense, and also in the skill set sense). My new class is also incredibly exciting. They began their "big questions" unit. One student wrote on the board: what is the voice in our head? Another student responded what if the voice in our head is God? And the final student responded But if it's God, why does it tell us to not do the right thing? To which someone else asked and drew and arrow what is right? Is there an absolute right?
These are sixth graders. This is where their thinking is. It's incredibly exciting.
3. I haven't done laundry in eight weeks. It's going on right now. That's very good. In other "good" news, I'm realizing how easy it is to save money simply by not buying coffee every morning. I've already saved 50 bucks since the start of August. I love it.
4. Finally, other thing that I love, although I am not a supporter of "reality" shows, I watched the season premiere of "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader" and it's been on for 3 years. They've never had a million dollar winner. The did tonight. It was a Georgia School Superintendent. And she's giving the money to Georgia state schools. I love it. Bully for school. She won on who the longest reigning British Monarch was.
In case you were wondering, it's Victoria.
Anyway, I'm going to get it together. Soon.
beginnings.
Work has begun. I'm incredibly stressed out and harried and the next three weekends are going to be a mush of traveling and trying to get things done and missing the absurd amount of sleep I was getting mere weeks ago.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)