Skiing?

I wish I wasn't such a chicken-shit most of the time.

Since school has started back up, I've eaten at the most delicious Italian restaurant in the city of Chicago, called Orso's. I've gone to the Evanston public library to teach 8th graders how to do research and I've spent too much time playing Guitar Hero, the only video game I have ever been good at in the history of the universe.

Since school has started back up, C and I have been talking about taking a weekend and going on vacation. We've already done Vegas and since I have time off in February and he cannot take more than a few days, we're restricted to a weekend-y kind of a thing. So, we thought Montreal. But, although the city looks engaging and we think it'll be fun--it'll be cold as hell there.

He wants to go skiing. There is a fundamental problem about this--I do not know how to ski. For most people, this would be not such a big problem. Learn. Be social. Talk to other people on the slope and fucking suck it up and do it. However, this is me we're talking about here. Which means...I will sit in the lodge, watching the slope and grade papers while he skis. While I don't have a problem paying money to do this--it's still relaxing and I am still not in Chicago fro a bit--I think he feels like it would be a waste of money. However, in my eyes, it's a waste of money for him to go to Tahoe and babysit me all day because I can't ski for shit. He'll want to do fun things and I'll be freaked out.

The other fundamental problem with this is if I do not catch on quickly, I will get frustrated and angry instead of working with him to do well. Then he will realize what a dirty quitter I am and we will in turn get frustrated with each other. I get nervous to have people watch me do things I am not good at; the only reason I started playing guitar hero is because I figured I could figure that one out. Other video games, I don't touch because I'm not good at them. I know, this is a lack of logic--you can only do something well if you practice. But, there's something strange about learning how to ski for me that puts me off. It's not that I don't want to actually ski--AR, my old family friend, has skiied since I could remember and it always looked amazing. I like being athletic and being outside...but only if I know what I'm doing. It's why I liked golf; I knew what I was doing.

But this...

I won't know. So what if i don't like it? What if I do?

And other fundamental problem, but less fundamental--I sort of do not so much have winter wear. So although this trip might only COST 600 bucks, I'd have to spend a lot more $ in winter gear. But, the nice thing would be that I would learn something. That's the best part of this relationship, we're always teaching each other things. So, maybe this is something I should learn... perhaps if we both promise not to get frustrated, it could be a very, very good trip.

In other news, it's freezing here. I spent last night at Carson's Ribs and then curled up on C's dilapidated couch. It's comfortable there, and the light shines in in a really nice way. It's comfortable around him. I forgot things at my house, consumed hash browns with S and then came out to the 'burbs to keep my mom company. My dad's on a business trip and she's mopey. I'll be using my day off on Monday to go to the doctor. Such an engaging life I live.